Why Conflict Changes the Way We See People

Disappointment doesn’t just change how you feel about someone. Over time, it can change who you think they are. You start bracing for the familiar behavior and noticing the evidence that confirms what you already believe. 

In this first episode of the Beholding series, Tanner Smith, Sarah Johnson, and Chase Rashad Stancle explore what disappointment does in our bodies, emotions, and perceptions — and why learning to notice it matters. You’ll begin identifying your own “script of disappointment,” separating what actually happened from the story you’ve built around it, and making room to see another person more fully.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to recognize your “script of disappointment” and the ways it narrows what you see in another person
• What your body and emotions can reveal about your reactivity in difficult relationships
• How to separate what actually happened from the meaning you’ve assigned to it

Key Resources Mentioned

• Beholding digital workbook — a companion resource for the Beholding series with practices for working through difficult relationships
• When Trying to Reconnect Pushes Someone Away — Here’s What Helps — an article from our blog that explores the “stretch zone” and how to discern when there’s enough safety and capacity to move toward a difficult relationship
• Got a Person Who Triggers You at Work? — an episode of The Mode/Switch Podcast from our friend Craig Mattson. The conversation explores how naming the feelings another person brings up in us can loosen their grip and help us reconnect with what matters most.

Have a question you’d like to hear us explore on the podcast? 

Write to info@colossianforum.org. We’d love to hear what’s on your mind, and your question may help shape a future conversation on the podcast.

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